In order to be good at crucial conversations, you need to be able to watch and recognize signs that not everyone feels that they can freely put information into a common pool (definition of a dialog from Chapter 2). In scenarios where safety is an issue participants will shut down or become aggressive. The second level of observation is looking for safety problems – this is really emotional safety or psychological safety. Hence the title of the chapter, Learn To Look, and my earlier comment about the need for practice. Dual-processing is no mean feat, requiring concentration and practice. In order to notice this, you need to pay attention to tone and body language even while you participate in the dialog. The physical indicators include pointing fingers, loud talking, withdrawing, and other forms of body language. The process begins with learning to spot when dialog begins to go off track. The book calls this “dual-processing.” This is something I occasionally have difficulty doing it takes continuous practice and a process. People that are good with crucial conversations observe both the content and conditions of the dialog they are participating in. The goal of the story is to point out that recognizing inflection points in dialogs and how you react to them is important in not ending up with a mess. The protagonist in the example does not see the turning point, nor does he understand how things went so wrong so quickly.
Ĭhapter 4 begins with an example of a crucial conversation gone wrong.
Crucial conversations chapters how to#
The chapter is titled, Learn to Look: How To Notice When Safety Is At Risk. This week we focus on Chapter 4 of Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler.
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